It was scary

I’ve been doing a video series on my experience of moving from my four-bedroom home to a one-bedroom apartment. Downsizing and also just the experience of being alone for the first time in my whole fifty four years of living.

The topic today is the emotional side of it. It was really, really difficult. It was so difficult that I almost didn’t do it.

You know, we talk about how difficult it is, or how hard it is to get rid of a jacket that we love or a piece of furniture that we love. But, what about your whole house? Not only the stuff that’s in it, that you know you have to let go of, but the house itself. That was really tough.

I found myself surprised at how often I cried, was not able to complete conversations on the phone with the attorney because I was so upset……like hyperventalating. And, then also, the decision to move an hour away.

Now, of course, I didn’t have to make that decision, but this is the thing that I knew.

If I didn’t do it I would always wonder. Because, if I would have moved to a little apartment close by to where I lived and I was very comfortable there, I never would have said, all right you know what, next year I’m going to move down the Shore, and I’m going to find a different place.

I wouldn’t have done that. If I was happy where I was, I would have stayed there. So, I knew that if I was going to do it, I had to do it then.

If I didn’t do it I would always wonder if I would have liked it. I would much rather go somewhere and find out that I didn’t like it than never had gone, and then wondered if I should have. So, that’s what I’ve done.

So far, it isn’t bad. Some days I’m so happy that can’t believe it. Other days, and even some times in the same day as when I feel so happy, I wonder what am I doing? Why am I so far away from my children? And from everybody that I love and why and I all alone all the time? And, why are you so ok with it? Because, sometimes it freaks me about…like how ok that I am being alone.

I thank you so much for listening to me and for wanting to be on my journey. Please leave a comment. Have you had a similar experience? If you sold a home what kind of experience did you have when you did? I’d love to hear about it.

Much Love to you!

Kathy

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